Relations
by LamingtonFTW
Summary: Bella and Edward go to Renee's house for a trip, but does whatever happens in Phoenix stay in Phoenix? A shocking secret Edward didn't know is flicked to the surface and turns Bella and Edwards world into chaos.


**Relations**

Life as a human can be fickle. Halfway through you may find out some life changing mishaps that will haunt you forever. Like me, for example, I found out that mythological beings are really good at fucking. My werewolf best friend Jacob and I have only ever fucked once, due to the fact that a) I'm not into bestiality and b) he likes it doggy style and I don't.

I lay on bed in a cocoon of blankets, thinking about my current life changing state of affairs, that being that I am in love with a sex crazed vampire. Edward is my boyfriend, and he is also one of the best looking people in my class, mm-hmm, he sure knows how to fill out a pair of pants. Oh, yeah and he is the sex crazed vampire mentioned earlier.

Suddenly, my mobile vibrated as it rang; I took it out of my cervix, wiped it clean and put it to my ear, pressing answer. It was my mother. "Hello, Bella, I've been trying to contact you for ages."

"Oh," I replied. "That's what that was. I didn't hear it. What's up?"

"Um... yeah. Anyway, I was wondering if later this week you wanted to come to Phoenix to visit me."

"Well,"

"You can bring Edward!"

I ended up agreeing and hung up. Then I heard Charlie, my chief of police father, call up from downstairs. I put my pants back on and trailed down to see what he was yelling at me about.

When I got to the lounge room I found Edward sitting very formally next to a tense Charlie. Edwards face lit up when he saw me. I knew what he was thinking, it was the same thing he was always thinking: _dayum_, shawty, you have 260 bones in your body – want another one? And I would always say yes, because I wanted one and to please him if I didn't.

Why didn't I realise what I was getting into when we first went out? He warned me he could be very persuasive. At first he told me that it would be too hard [;)] for him to control himself and he may kill me, but we took the risk and turns out he's a liar.

We walked upstairs leaving Charlie on the lounge, but I could feel his eyes burning on me and Eddie as we walked back up to my room. Sometimes I feel like he knows what we do in there, but I know he doesn't because Edward doesn't have bullet holes in him, which would be the outcome if Charlie knew.

"We're going to Phoenix tomorrow," I explained as we lay down on the bed. We were lying inches away from each other – he was getting ready to pounce, then he relaxed.

He asked, "Why?"

"Because we're invited by my mother. You can hunt tonight, and stay inside. She says it'll be cool, though."

He sighed. "Fine. You can be pushy sometimes. _Now, let's get to it._ Roar!"

The next day we were travelling in my Chevy, with Ed driving because he hates it when I drive. We arrived by midday, since he sped more than half the way and only hit four squirrels. My mother greeted us both with hugs, giving Edward her shifty eye look. I looked at him myself, he was wearing black shades and a wide brimmed hat that covered his whole head, not to mention he was wearing gloves and a jacket. I could see how she thought he was being especially shady.

She took us in and we had some tea. And then, to my furious horror she announced something shocking to me, amusing to Edward and exciting for her.

"Alright," She said, "So I figured it seemed traditional to show your boyfriend your baby pictures." Then a black square photo book was revealed from under the table. Edward laughed and I gasped.

"No!"I said flatly. "Definitely _not_!" I tried to grasp the book over the table but I lost the fight, even though there was no way around swaying my mother's ideas, fighting with Renee was like fighting a mammoth with an extra pair of tusks. I gave up and dug my face into my hands.

"This one was at Easter..." I could hear her explaining. "Ooh, this one was at our old house in North Carolina... how cute is she here... her first camping trip..."

Then they both went quiet. I look up from behind my hands at the table and saw that they were both staring down at the pages, Renee was simply looking curious, although Edward had turned suspiciously whiter than usual. "What's in there?"I asked. "Please don't let it be a naked baby picture."

"Oh, my God..." My mother shouted animatedly. "These have never been seen before, at least not by me. They're right at the back."

"Mum, what is it?"

"Just some old, black-and-white, pictures of Grandma Kathryn. I know why they're here now; I found this under the house in North Carolina. Grandma Kathryn lived in that house; she must have put them there, exciting."

I was glad the topic of baby me had changed to something so much less embarrassing. But then Renee gasped and her mouth dropped open, Edward stood up so abruptly that the chair fell backwards. "Bella, we have to go."

"What?" I said, slightly panicked. I stood up and searched around the book to see what was so shocking. Then what I saw caused my mother to cry and me to nearly faint.

There was Grandma Kathryn, tangled up in a sex position never attempted before then with none other than – Edward? Renee wouldn't understand how they looked so similar, but I knew, it WAS Edward in the photograph.

"Oh, lord, what is happening?"Cried my mother. "You're identical to my Grandpa and Bella's Great Grandpa."

I felt lightheaded. Edward _was my grandfather? _Then I crashed to the ground, passed out into a heap, just as tangled as my great grandfather/boyfriend and grandmother were in their position.


End file.
